Couples Blog
Why Freaking Out Doesn’t Help
Is Your Wife Talking Divorce? The journey towards saving your marriage is not easy. We offer you solid support through the following six tips. They may go against your instincts right now, but rest assured, your best chance is NOT adding more emotion and drama into the situation.
Who to Talk To – And Who Not To Talk To Around A Potential Divorce
We’ve seen people in your shoes—a spouse announces a divorce—make a bunch of mistakes when it comes to talking with others. One mistake is to not tell anyone, often out of shame or to avoid recognizing the threat at real. The result is isolation and stewing in one’s juices. A second mistake is to tell […]
What is Marital Doubt?
People usually keep doubts about their marriage to themselves. Here we’re not talking about ordinary concerns about the relationship or even feeling in a stuck pattern—instead, we’re talking about worries about whether the marriage will survive. This is scary to think about. If you tell others, you might get unhelpful suggestions such as “just listen […]
Hard Problems
Once upon a time when divorce was rare, most people were driven to divorce by one of the “Triple A” problems: Affairs, Addictions, or Abuse. Divorce meant someone was chronically cheating, repeatedly drunk, or physically violent. Desertion was the fourth reason for divorce in 19th century America when husbands would go west and disappear. Affairs, […]
A Marriage Isn’t Over Until It’s Over: Research On Divorce Ambivalence
It’s commonly believed that when people enter the legal divorce process, they have come to accept the reality that divorce is inevitable. Even therapists and lawyers tend to assume that once divorce papers are filed, ambivalence about divorcing is over and the only task ahead is to help couples have a constructive end to their […]
What Defines Cheating?
Couples can get into muddy waters when it comes to one person feeling really “off” about their spouse’s “friendship” with someone who could become a romantic partner. This can lead to a lot of fights about what is cheating. Does it have to involve physical contact? These debates don’t actually sooth anyone: the partner who […]