Bring up the past often even though your partner can now do nothing to change what he or she did.
Twist the knife every once in a while to remind him/her how hurt your are. Make sarcastic, cutting remarks, gestures to get even with your partner long after the incident has occurred.
Refuse to accept or believe your offending partner that he/she is sorry, that he/she feels shame over what was done, or that he/she has truly reformed.
Believe in the philosophy of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” Getting revenge or getting even is a losing strategy. Some examples of this losing strategy I have observed through the years:
Not acknowledging any contribution to the problem or blaming one-self entirely for the problem. If you have been injured by your partner, how much of the blame should you accept for the situation? Some injured partners accept none of the responsibility for the problem.
I one had a middle-aged couple see me on the basis of an enraged wife because she had “caught” her husband looking at porn in the privacy of his bedroom. She had labeled him a sex addict. I then asked how long it had been since she had wanted sex with him or how long it had been since having had sex with each other. The answer: 5 years. I asked the wife what he was supposed to do with his sexual urges. She had no answer except that he was now cheating with the porn.