If you are the Injured Partner, it really helps to have the attitude that resentments don’t re-occur only because of the injustice or grievance that occurred in your marriage, but also because of the constant “head-talk” in your brain ABOUT that injustice, hurt or grievance.
If resentments try to sneak back in, remember that where the mind goes, the energy flows and repeat the following thoughts or concepts to yourself:
Partner immediately fall asleep after dinner instead of chatting
Partner suddenly gets angry and very upset if you stay out late drinking with friends without calling them as promised.
Partner paints the children’s bedroom but imperfectly. You are a contractor with high standards and get mad because she “didn’t do it right.”
Your partner insists for the 400th time since the wedding ceremony that the dishes be squeakily clean before putting them in the dish-washer but you think this is ridiculous.
Your partner lets the children stay up very late because you both work and don’t have much time with them. You believe they should be in bed at an earlier specific time. Neither partner will compromise or negociate.
Whenever you feel resentment creeping into your relationship.