Decide To Deal With Resentment
ACKNOWLEDGE the issue causing resentment
REMEMBER skills that work for you
EXECUTE a plan to forgive, or ask forgiveness

Offending Partner: Remember how to stay out of trouble

Remember, resentments in a relationship have a better chance of being resolved if both partners are working on it. The Offending Partner needs to remember skills to ask for forgiveness in the future (if future mistakes occur), but most importantly, skills to remember to stop doing the things that cause resentment if possible. If she resents it because you never help to clean the house – remember to find a solution with her to solve that issue. If he resents it because he feels you undermine his parenting authority in front of the kids, find a way to remember to not do that in the future.

Now for a thorny issue we need to discuss. What if you as the Offending Partner don’t want to change what your partner considers offensive behavior? You know that they are pissed over what you do, but you have no intention of giving it up. This might be because you are stubborn and into doing things your own way; but it may also be because you honestly believe there is no reason to give it up- because the problem lies with an unreasonable partner – not in what you are doing or not doing.