Dealing with a narcissistic partner can be daunting and bring out incredible anger in you, especially If you don’t know what you are dealing with. We briefly describe narcissism, and how narcissists can greatly affect you, as their partner, and push all your buttons. You may decide to throw in the towel, but many such relationships a worth saving- If you learn how to disarm the narcissist while surviving (and even thriving) yourself.
Anger and partner narcissism: Betty and Jason
Betty and Jason had been married for 5 years and were now being seen in couples therapy because of almost constant conflict. Jason saw the problem as “Betty’s anger” which he couldn’t cope with and caused him to completely emotionally shut down. He constantly threatened divorce lamenting that he wished he had married a “sweet” girl. Betty said her anger was only because of him; she had many friends and no history of anger problems in any other relationship or areas of her life. But, she indeed was enraged with her husband who constantly berated and criticized her, tried to lower her self-esteem, could not satisfy her most basic needs as a woman, and constantly manipulated her by giving her hope for change and then completely reversing himself the next day. She called it “crazy-making.”
What is a narcissist?
Simply put, a narcissist Continue reading “Angry at narcissistic husband? How to cope short of divorce!”
- The first step in dealing with your narcissistic partner is to discern if it is something you want to do, as the task may be daunting. A discernment counselor may be of help to you in sorting things out.
- The main weapon in your arsenal should be a tactic called “confrontational empathy” which is sort of like “tough love” in dealing with your partner. It involves standing up for yourself and setting limits at the same time as communicating great empathy for where the narcissist is coming from.
- A very helpful self-help book to help you on your journey is: “Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed” by Wendy Behary.
- Take our Anger Quiz to get an idea of how you and your narcissistic partner may be communicating and get suggested remedies.