STEP – 2: Acknowledge: To what extent might you be contributing to the angry atmosphere in your home? Is your partner’s mood a reflection of your mood? Could you react differently to your partner somehow to de-escalate them or not provoke them as much? Are you and your partner “ping-ponging” anger off each other? Are you bring home anger from another part of your life – like work?
Acknowledging your contribution to the angry atmosphere can do wonders toward creating a more positive atmosphere.
I recall having a couple in an anger management class who had been married for 15 years. They timidly took two chairs in the back of the class. Each participant was to read a section from their anger management book. The wife started by describing all the hurt and pain they had had throughout their marriage due to communication problems, conflicts and misunderstandings. Her husband took his turn and said to his wife that he was sorry for his part in the conflicts..that they weren’t all her fault, that he was very immature as a young man and that there were many times he didn’t handle things very well. She burst out in tears. She turned to her husband and said “in all these years you never once told me that it wasn’t all my fault. I felt guilt an and ashamed that I was such a bad wife.” His acknowledgement and vulnerability allowed their healing process to begin.