How You Can Get Much More of What You Need from Your Partner by Being Less Critical

Case Example: Sarah and Jose had been together for 5 years and came into my office saying “we fight over everything.” When asked to describe a typical scenario, it turns out that he was the angry one — usually because he saw Sarah as lacking in self-discipline, being lazy, spending too much money, and not keeping the house clean enough.

She of course, reacted defensively when he started yelling at her, using the usual arguments that she worked too, that they had a two year old that cluttered everything, and that she deserved to buy nice things because she worked too. In turn, he would elevate things a notch by now pointing out that he observed that she would never accept responsibility for her shortcomings, she had excuses for everything, and he was tired of it all.