I am pleased to offer this guest article by colleague Dr. Steve Rockman for couples who need to re-ignite that love feeling for each other. The advice given in this article is common sense in many ways and profoundly true! Establish a “Love Bank” and start making deposits. If you want more, start giving more! Be nicer to each other and be less critical.
Having been a therapist for over thirty years, I am always pleased to find new ways of helping couples. A few years ago, I discovered a treatment approach by Willard Harley that’s short term and practical. Combined with other techniques that I use, this approach has proven effective. Furthermore, it offers hope to relationships that seem hopeless. I’ve had several successful cases where one member had fallen out of love, ready to leave the relationship. If you’re interested, read on.
Continue reading “Can I Fall Back in Love After The Thrill Is Gone?”
Feeling emotionally connected and emotionally close in a relationship is often a matter of learning to regularly satisfy each other’s needs. If you get “yours” you are much more likely to want to give them “theirs.” The Love Bank concept is a great way to kind of keep track of things to maintain balance.
Outside Stressors, called “thirds” can destroy your marriage no matter how much you love each other. Successful couples of course should love each other, but they also must have skills to deal with common stressors of married life. Moreover, they need additional skills to deal with each other around these stressors, says Dr. Tony Fiore, who has seen hundreds of individuals and couples in relationship trouble.
What are these “thirds” that are destructive to a relationship?
A destructive third can be anything that prevents a couple from having a close bond, having each other’s back and prioritizing their relationship. Thirds can create havoc in a marriage, yet the problem is not strictly a marriage problem per se. The real problem is inability of a couple to successfully deal with an outside stress threatening the marriage.
Common thirds that I see in Couples Counseling in Orange County are:
- Anger or poor impulse control
- Parenting or Children Stress
- Substance Abuse (including excessive drinking) by one partner
Continue reading “Successful Marriage: Love ain’t enough says Dr Tony Fiore”
Outside stressors called “thirds” can destroy a relationship no matter how much partners love each other. Three of them are:
(1) Poor anger management: anger or other negativity is a significant factor in marriage failure. Take this online quiz to determine to what extent anger is an issue in your relationship – and what to do about it.
(2) Parenting stress: Successful couples find a way to prioritize their relationship and still be good parents. This often requires planning special times for the two of you – while grandma watches the kids. It may also require that you physically sleep with each other instead of with a child (yes, some parents have their partner regularly sleep in another room while their insecure child is allowed to sleep in the couple’s bed with the other parent)
(3) Substance abuse including alcohol: For expert opinions on how to handle a substance-abusing partner, click on “How to Help an Addict: Top 25 Addiction Experts Share Their Insight.”